The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural you can find out more state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, wikipedia reference "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing article rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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